If you read various Christian blogs or religious news articles, this word is no mystery. It's almost all anyone in the Christian faih community wants to discuss anymore due to rapid decline in attendance.
For those of you who have never heard the term, it is a word loosely used to describe those who do not attend church. The term also seems to describe those who have never been exposed to the Christian church or have never had access to a Christian church.
This word is "unchurched."
This terminology is offensive and have a few reasons why I find it alienating to those whom the Christian church is trying to reach.
Being "un-anything" is typically negative in nature...
When I think of the prefix "
un," I am automatically prone to think of something negative. Unpleasant, unfamiliar, unacceptable, unhappy, unpopular...etc. Of course, there are some exceptions in this crazy English language that are positive connotations such as unbelievable. Recently I have been in transition from heavily participating in a conventional church setting. I have quickly realized that being categorized as "unchurched" means to others that I had never experienced church. The more I heard it, the more it infuriated me. I am pretty confident that it does not describe the majority of those who are being referred to as "unchurched," including myself.
There are heavier implications behind using such a negatively descriptive term. I discovered that I did not like the way it made me feel; excluded, alienated, and completely misunderstood. And I would venture a guess that I am not the only one who feels that way when being described as "unchurched."
My extreme aversion to using the term "unchurched" to describe people in today's modern world is obvious, I am sure. You should probably know a little more about me to understand this a little more. I have always had, at the very least, an affiliation with church since I was a small child. My grandparents took me to their Baptist church in my small hometown for years where I participated in Sunday school, children's choir, and a variety of activities. I made the choice to attend a different Baptist church in high school and then later chose to graduate from a private Methodist college. I have since served on praise and hospitality teams, held interim staff leadership positions as Children's Minister and Contemporary Worship Leader, and continue to create and design worship experiences in a variety of faith community settings and denominations from time to time.
All that being said, faith and religion are not foreign concepts to me. Nor does having these experiences make me superior or more relevant than anyone else. My spirituality is something that I have labored over, prayed about, and take very seriously. It has not been easy to find personal peace with myself and who I believe God is. And I am sure it has only just begun. I still struggle with how I feel about aspects of faith in relation to the modern world. God gave me a brain accompanied by intelligence and in using it, I doubt (not the entirety but certain intricacies) of faith. I think it is normal to do so. And I do not believe that am not alone. (Read
this for further information and discussion about faith and doubt...maybe my next blog topic?)
This difficult, complicated, extremely personal subject of faith is not foreign for those who are being wrongly and unfairly classified as "unchurched." I think it is something that everyone struggles with throughout their life. Even if someone has never set foot in a church, read a Bible, or been to communion or worship service, there must be a better word we can use to refer to this group. "Unchurched" seems limiting and classist in nature. Indicating that the "unchurched" are a lesser kind of individuals in comparison to those who dress the part of a church-going Christian on Sundays, even if they do so as habit or routine. What we are dealing with here is classism and spectrum analysis of faith. We are counting others' faith for them; the spiritual equivalent of counting someone else's money. And that is wrong.
Leaving in droves...
People are scarce, pews are empty, these beautiful majesties of architectural design echo with silence. Some have closed, more will close...and no one in the church seems to know why or how to fix it. Panic is settling in those who remain as churches and pastors post blogs and read articles about millenials and what can be done to repair this mass exodus of people from the church.
Lots of conversation has ensued:
What can we do? More modern music? Better design of backdrops? More engaging topics? Better children's ministries? Maybe we can talk to (insert a group here) and they can encourage people to come back? Should we hire a consultant? Why are they leaving? Where are they going?
NO. STOP.
As God followers, we have failed.
In the conventional church system where denominations are waved proudly like flags of patriotism, we have failed. We have failed to recognize that the "good old days" are behind us. We have failed to accept that new ideas and styles must be brought in and supported. We have failed to acknowledge, support, and/or show love to those who are coming through the doors who have been damaged by the existing church culture we have created. We have failed and there were people who left our churches without anyone noticing they were there in the first place. We have failed anyone who ever left the church by labeling them, discounting them, and dismissing them, convinced that we know what we are doing. We have failed them and everyone else we encounter by not treating them as God has called us to. WE. HAVE. FAILED.
Some who are being called "unchurched" are people who have simply turned away from their previous experience of church because it was a bad experience.
So much to the point that people are identifying with post traumatic church syndrome (PTCS). Read
this article for more details.
Church has become something that God had never intended for it to become. God wants us to love one another. I would imagine that means coming together to create an environment of grace, love, and community.
Sadly, some of what today's church has become is big business. It has become a delicate balance of politicized decision-making between pastors, committees, founding members, and the financially influential to keep all of those parties donating time and money. A lot of those who are called "unchurched" have experienced a church where widespread judgement, ridicule, and financial supremacy is accepted without any pastoral discipline and is left unaddressed without discussion or reprimand. Church has become a posh, social club where people who don't attend there are called "unchurched" as a way to classify and categorize them. People in my age bracket (30-35) are having lots of discussions about faith, just not necessarily within the confines and restrictions of a conventional church. And that's what scares everyone. They don't understand. We are exhausted from investing spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and financially in these types of churches and not seeing God there. Those are not the only reasons people have left church, but it's a start. So, people who are hurt or disgusted or frustrated leave or are leaving until they find something better because what exists is further from God than they want to be. Maybe some will go back. Or find a different church. Or they will never come back due to the repetitive nature of finding churches like the horrifying ones saturated with despicable behavior.
So...what's next?
In order to do God's work, our churches MUST be places where people can feel love and acceptance as soon as anyone walks in the door. Overwhelming love for each other, experience radical hospitality, and feel acceptance on every level. Even and especially when we ddon't understand.
Meet every person (whether we agree, approve, or otherwise with where they are in their journey) with love, kindness, and acceptance...NOT just tolerance. Meet them with at least a smile, if not a handshake or a hug. Because that's what God did. For all of us. He loves us all unconditionally without a litmus test. There are already churches like this in existence. They may not be in the conventional church environment of a sanctuary but take place in an art studio or a historic theatre.
However you choose to greet those who grace the door of your worship center, synagogue, or faith community, please pretty please STOP calling them "unchurched" or "millenials" or "Gen X" or anything else. Labels are for jars, not people.
Just love them. That is all anyone in this day and age needs. Replace calling them "unchurched" with a different word. Call them loved.
LOVED.
A place like that can exist today. I just know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
